I think there's a lot to be said for that, FG. Mine seems much more content to cake eat and not feel bad now that I have backed off, When I first found out and there was a lot of anger, when I first had her cancel her Skype account and she thought there was nothing she could do about it, there was more of a contrite reaction from her, mixed in with the resentment of being controlled.
The only time I have lost it badly since was when I saw she had sent pics of D to the AP. I made her delete the pic from the chat timeline, and she seemed genuinely(?) - well if not sorry, then at least understanding of my anger.
I think they want to se that you care about something, that you value something. Passion, even in anger, seems to be more respected than passivity.
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18