mirage and Cali are both very spot on w/their postings. Your journey will be revealed to you as you continue to travel your life's path. It does take a while to unfold, but when you do begin to see what is in store for you, you'll be amazed at how far you will have come, as well as being far wiser than you have ever been. You'll begin to see people, places and things so differently...but again...that is further down the road. Trust the system, have faith in the man upstairs.
Cali is absolutely correct when he stated that your wife has been thinking about a D for a while. It's not a snap decision on her part, just as the BD wasn't a snap decision. They tend to disconnect from their old lives approximately 12-24 months prior to the bomb drop. They have already left the marriage and that old life behind and that's why it is so much easier for them to move on and actually cut ties w/all that they knew. We are part of that past and they don't want to be reminded of what they had or how good it was at the moment. Divorce, to them, is called "freedom". Freedom to do whatever they want, when they want to and w/whom they want to be with. Freedom is the brass ring that they are trying to grasp on the merry-to-round as they go round and round. Unfortunately, nothing really changes except they aren't married any longer to us. Life continues to go on, responsibilities are still a day-to day thing, and their euphoria lasts just about 6 months before all of this "freedom" comes crashing down. They soon discover that the bills continue to come in, the things that they did when living w/us continue because they have to work, pay bills, shop for groceries, clean their places, etc. and yes, the "guilty little demons" still come out to play at night when things are very quiet and they have nothing to occupy their time or minds.
So, while they are hitting bricks walls and trying everything on God's green earth to stay happy, we are working on ourselves and we are working thru the process and not around it, i.e., like they are.
Bottom line, we can't see the work that is taking place within them, but we sure can see the work that we are doing on ourselves each and every day. Why? Because we are growing by leaps and bounds, rediscovering ourselves, stepping outside our comfort zones and trying new things, meeting new people and some are evening relocating.
Have faith in yourself and the man upstairs. He works in mysterious ways and we don't always get what we want, but we do get what he thinks we need.
Just my two cents.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
