Not sure where I am so no title!

[Coly23]

Hey AP, thank you so much for your encouragement! I also realise that I may not be the greatest DB'er and I can often hear the tuts of frustration on here when the things I do go against DB principles!

However, it may not be evident but I have learned a lot since being on this forum. I've learned to let things go when in the past I have hung on to disagreements and sulked - for days! I've learned that i look for sympathy in a passive aggressive sort of way and that makes me look weak an whinny. I've learned that I was brought up with parents who are codependent and I recreated that in my own marriage. I think recognising these amongst other things I've learned about myself since BD and avoiding repeating them has helped me to get to this stage with H. I'm by no means saying that I have found the magic bullet to save my marriage but had I not found the tools on here to examine my own personality traits I would be stil making the same mistakes and would have pushed H further away.

AP you are right in saying that myself and D make a great team, the relationship between us is much stronger than it has ever been. It's also great that we can work together to be the lighthouse for H and although there have been few bumps and potholes along the way when one of us has a meltdown we always manage to regroup and carry on. To be honest with you I am surprised at how patient H has been with us!

I know I've got to stop myself sometimes from demanding too much at this stage, it's hard but sometimes I forget we are separated and those expectations creep in again!

Journaling - H suggested going to the cinema again on Saturday for the hundredth time! I know H loves the cinema but I don't think it's a good idea at this stage of the game. The last time we went we met in the car park, sat in silence in the dark for a few hours and then went our separate ways. It was very disappointing! I've suggested to go for dinner instead and he has agreed. My D said the cinema is what kids her age do when they go on a first date!

I'm hoping this cold I have will have gone by Saturday although it has been complicated by a sore ear due to the pressure caused by a short flight I took today. I feel like George Bailey from A Wonderful Life - not my sore ear!!!

Hope everyone is doing okay today!