Its been very busy so I thought I would just journal a little bit.
Work has been nuts, we are installing some new equipment and to make room it was best we did a complete re-org to become more efficient
I had S NewYears... he called at the normal time MLCr and she did not pick up, I was suprised how numb I have become with this, only felt bad for S but not my circus nor my monkey. We did not make it to 12 that night and I could have cared less, after 15 years of working them I was thrilled to be home on the couch. S and I woke up ealry and I took him to a new spot by the beach where he could Pokemon hunt and it gets me a solid walk in during that time ... win-win. I did not think about it till we got there but that was a hot spot back in the day for MLCr and I when we were younger and I actually smiled and shared a memory or two with S about his mom and I there. No pain or hurt but arrived to a place where I can look back at certain periods and smile. The next day we went out and I bought a leather couch and recliner along with a entertainment center that goes with the table I have. This upset S a bit as I am getting rid of the old couches I have ... which we have had for a LONG time, I am not sure if he is holding onto them as a family memory or if its due to the dogs (would often be caught sleeping on them) ... but he was upset as I told him it was time to let them go. They are the last remaining items I have from the 'Old M'. He and I talked and I agreed he could keep a couple pillows if he liked and that seemed to smooth it over for him. I am kinda stoked ... I decided to stay in the smaller place by the beach rather than move into a bigger place and the money I am saving I went ahead and invested into the couches, something I always wanted but the MLCr would have not agreed on. I also nuked all the dating apps off my phone, there are various reasons but the biggest one is the fact I am really feeling good just being myself. I have a busy schedule and have really embraced 'this life' and for the first time in a long time looking forward to this new year and what it will bring.
Hope you all are well ... I know its tough but hang in there there is peace around the corner!!
