[quote=ForGump]I don't think my path back to a loving wife lies through housework.
I agree. The focus shouldn't be about doing specific house chores. It should be on being mature and independent. Is money the only reason she feels dependent on you? If she made a similar amount of money as you, would you then have a fairly equal power partnership?
The power/dependency dynamic may not be the only issue in your marriage, but I think it's an important one.
Yes, if she was making an amount of money that could minimally support her then I believe she would feel better about herself. she has almost said as much at times. but I can't make this happen. she has to do that so I have to operate in the now with what I have to work with.
In my opinion, I do more housework than her but not really by a huge amount and it never bothered me anyway. I didn't mean to distract the conversation towards this.
I'm much more concerned about the OM and how to handle it. He is a fantasy now but if he offered my wife alone time with him she would take it. She told him in an email last week that email is hard and if she had some alone time she had good things to tell him that she didn't want to type(he did not reply to this and he won't talk to her on the phone though she has tried that as well). It's lack of opportunity that is stopping her, nothing else. He communicates with her just enough that she can keep the fantasy going. I know that him using her art on his facebook page really flatters her as well.
This week she has been really lovey with me. It is 100% initiated by her. But, at bedtime she goes cold fish. I do not initiate at all. Is she testing me? Is she warming up to me? Am I overreacting about the OM? I don't think I am but the loving during the day tempts me to keep waiting and see what happens.
She has always been really straightforward with me but now that she is hiding the extant of her emailing I wonder if she is temp checking me to see if she still has me or if she is truly warming up again.
The chance that I am going to blow outing her and her EA are really high.
