My WW and the Great Sandi2 Experiment

[Chris73]

Thanks Vapo. I guess there are too many threads. I feel as if every time my sitch changes I want to start a new thread!

I just went back to my very first thread. Man were things different! It's a little depressing because I feel like on one level it has gotten so much worse. But then I think of some of the GAL progress that I've made and I see the silver lining. I will definitely re-read everything.

Had a productive IC session today. It's a new therapist that I just started with a few weeks ago and I'm starting to like him more than my previous one. We talked about the most recent conversations I've had with my W and he asked me why I always feel the need to explain everything? Why am I always trying to hammer my point across? Saying the same things over and over? I've always thought that this was a normal communication method, but he has a good point. I wonder how many times in my M my need to explain my point exhausted the conversation to the point where my W gave up. Or even worse, decided not to bring something up in the first place!

So I guess one of my goals should be to learn how to be a man of fewer words. I share very few qualities with the alpha-male type and I think this has contributed to my W losing respect for me. In every R conversation we've had, I've always backed down. The classic "nice guy" routine where I outwardly appease the other person and then internally build up resentment for not getting what I want. My W even admitted to me once that she WANTED me to go ballistic when I found out about her A. She WANTED to see anger and acts of self-preservation. But I didn't do that. I told her right away that I forgave her and started working to win her back.

A while back I started reading a book about the "Nice Guy" syndrome and how to overcome it. But then I got sidetracked by the DB and DR books. I think I will go back and finish reading it now.