Hanging and hoping- seperation edition

[BillyHo]

Yesterday was a pretty busy day filled with a lot of positive interaction with W. I had the boys overnight and she came to my house at 4:30 in the morning to be with the boys so I could leave for work. I have lined up someone to do this the nights they are with me but W is not sure if she's comfortable with it or not. I told her I would be fine with her doing it but I am not willing to give up my weekday overnights with the kids. So for now she will do it and we will see how it goes.

So I start the day seeing her as I leave for work. I go to work and after a while I get a tm from W wondering when I'll be home. I fm back a time. She then calls to see if I can help her with S10 dr appt. I did and she was appreciative. After the appt W stopped by my house. I took her mail out and we had about a 5 min convo about nothing in particular.

I took a nap and then had a coaching session. My session was very enlightening and made me see things in a different light. I caught my coach up in the weeks events and then we did an exercise for most of the rest of the time. She asked me to answer a series of questions as if I was my W answering. This really helped me see some of the things that I am responsible for in the breakdown of our marriage. Even though I don't agree with her way of dealing with the sitch I can now see how she has gotten to this place of not knowing what she wants.

After the exercise she read back to me all the things I had said in response to the questions. Sitting there listening made me feel very sad at all the things I had done wrong over the years. Not that I did any of it to intentionally hurt her but how could she know that only seeing it from her perspective.

She gave me a homework assignment to write a letter to apologize for all of my shortcomings in the M. She told me not to send it because we will review it when we talk again next week.

After the session I picked W and the boys up at her house to go to S10 basketball game. We had a good time. We talked a lot and kept the conversation light. When we are together like this it feels so natural and it's hard to beleive a couple of months ago she wouldn't even talk to me or ride in the same car to a game. After I took them to her house said goodnight and went back home.

I know some of the advice on here is more of a tough love style and every sitch is different, but I feel in my heart that this is the best thing for me right now. I do feel bad for those of you that have wives that spew and disrespect you and I feel fortunate that my W hasn't done that with me. I love my W and to love her even in these toughest of times is what I feel I need to do right now.