MLC W and preparing for S or D in the new year

[Gordie]

***Don't fuel her fantasies by letting her think that she can have her cake and eat it too. No, she can't go sleep with a 22 year old employee and keep getting all your love. Let her know that once she fires you as her husband, you will indeed no longer be her husband. You are not going to wait around and love her and serve her at her beck and call. You are going to move on and live your life.***

ForGump, you have given me awesome encouragement and advice and I appreciate it. What you write above is the truth. I haven't known how to express this, but in one of our conversations, I did tell her that I want to be husband and not her friend. I think she understood that.

***your situation resonates a lot with mine -- more so in the last few days.***

ForGump, Why so?

***About your wife's comment about you re-marrying first: obviously, that betrays her insecurity and doubt about the fork in the road she is wanting, dying, to take. She wants you to comfort her by saying, "Oh no, I doubt it'll be me first; you'll find someone great first." Or "Oh no, I'll love you forever," the subtext being, I'll be your second-choice and wait around forever in case your first choice doesn't work out. Maybe simply not responding ("not watering weeds" -- I like that!) is the wiser thing to do, but I'd be tempted to stick a small hand shovel under that weed by replying, something like, "Well, maybe. I might meet someone great quickly. Who knows. Regardless, once you let me go as a husband, I'm not going to keep living like one. I will move on and build my own life without you."***

ForGump, I'm guilty as charged. I have said in the past that I will love her forever, that I want us to reconcile...if not now, then in the future, that I'm not interested in other women. I say these things because they are honestly what I feel right now, but not responding seems to be the wiser, consensus approach.