Moving on to the next phase

[Pax_luv]

That was greatly comforting... Thanks ciluzen.

I figured out why I'm so frozen with this last piece of documentation (still only 60% done by the way). It's supposed to be the last one before we head into negotiations.

I've shared a bit about Stbx's demeanor here. It's all about not losing. He will do WHATEVER it takes to not lose. I won't share any more than that. However, This is what freaks me out. I make-up (based on past experience) that If I am off by .50 cents in my disclosures, he will find a way to discredit me and use it to "prove" that I'm dishonest, etc. I mean, he's pretty much been doing this the whole time.

That's major mind reading and pure imagination on my part, but trust me, I didn't form this fear or anxiety out of thin air. It came from me being on the sidelines of this for 11 years. I just never thought I would be on the other side of the table.

So, I'm currently paralyzed with fear. I've been In this exact place before with him. When he gave me the baby ultimatum, I froze up for months battling with fighting for my sense of self and my own integrity, while fighting for the marriage the best I knew how (in an environment where I didn't feel psychologically safe). It was lose- lose regardless, and I was completely and utterly paralyzed with fear. Frozen.

I'm here again. I have to trust that my lawyer is going to look after me and I pray I haven't made any mistakes with my paperwork... Because if I did, I'm afraid I will be royally screwed. I've shared this concern with my L a few months ago and he's assured me that it doesn't work like that in family law... But I can't help this feeling. I'm scared.