MLC W and preparing for S or D in the new year

[Gordie]

Reading through all of these stories, there does seem to be some conflicting advice from my DB coach (trying to build connection) and the vets (tough love). What is common is the advice about detachment. I need to keep reading and learning more about detachment. I'm improving in my detachment, but clearly have a long way to go.

Question for all is how does DB apply to my situation of what I think is a one sided fantasy EA with POM? It's different than an actual two way EA or PA.

Biggest take away from Five Love Languages is that my W's is quantity time and I didn't give it to her (it was the lowest ranked for me). My top was words of affirmation and my W doesn't give that to me. Since BD, we spend a lot more time together and W has responded well to that including comments that she wished we had discussed and made these changes earlier.