BillyHo - I think many of us reading here have been where you are right now.

It does get better. One of the "tools" that my IC gave me was something called "mindfulness". When the spinning thoughts would overwhelm me I would try to remind myself that they were just thoughts and not reality. I would then use a mental image - I often used a scrub-brush - to mentally wipe those thoughts out of my mind. It would work, sometimes not for long but over time I got better at it and got better at not obsessing about what my W was up to.

Good luck.

On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells