The mind movies and overall degeneration of your body and spirit is why the constant snooping is so bad for the LBS. I am only speaking as an observer of this behavior, but I have been observing a looooong time. Gathering enough intell to know if the spouse is in any type of inappropriate relationship is one thing, but once you do know......what is the purpose in looking on a regular basis? That isn't gathering intell, that is plain-old addictive snooping.........and it is killing you.
These folks are giving you sound advice, and that list from Valpo is great. You must stop doing what you KNOW is literally killing you slowly. Give her the dog, get a new one (and I am a dog lover, so I do understand the attachment). Stop paying for the affair. Stop acting as if you are a victim. Stop having her over and all that other stuff. She should not see you in this condition. It is the OPPOSITE of what you should be doing here!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
