I cannot help but feel all your deliberations are ... mere rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Except your ship sank long ago, it's two thousand fathoms underwater. And you are just a ghost haunting its deck.
You are worried about cell phone bills and lunches and dogs and lawyers, while you live like a zombie, not eating, not sleeping. Everything you are doing revolves around your relationship to your wife. You are a suffocating, castrated presence to your wife. She doesn't want a husband like that! Your marriage is dead.
Dead. Dead. Dead.
You are asking us here about what you should do. Stop it. Stop all your calculations about what you should do.
Be, first. Be.
Stand in front of a mirror, and look at yourself for a long time. Who are you? What are you, aside from the husband of your wife? What principles do you stand for, other than undying loyalty to your wife? What is your character? What makes you fun? What makes you interesting? What makes you attractive?
Then think long and hard about who your wife is. What values, what character has she shown? What is her (F*****G) problem?
You are looking for solutions but you don't yet see your problem.
I'm sorry for the harsh words. We are all in pain here. It hurts like hell. I hope you wake up.
Thank you for this. These are all very reasonable questions to which I really don't know the answers to anymore. How sad is that!?!?
