A stronger me for whatever the future holds

[PacLove]

Wow thanks for the responses guys... a few comments below.

First and foremost, yes perhaps not piecing yet. What we discussed over the weekend was do we even have a future together.

She acknowledged that the A polluted things this past year but at the same time she had felt disconnected in the M for years so questions whether we can ultimately fix that or if too much damage has been done.

We both took a very practical approach to conversation to see if we have shared life goals and expectations out of a R/M together and if we did we would then discuss what "repairing" our relationship might look like.

There's still a lot of confusion on her part, and many around me are guiding me to be very careful - no surprises there.

I'm holding back at a distance and letting her drive the change. As we said goodbye yesterday she asked me to let her know when we can meet with an IC together.

As for her begging to come back - I used to think that would be the only way I'd accept her as it would show she truly wanted the M, but being able to rationalize and discuss with her whether we together want this Marriage anymore or not certainly feels much more humane and reasonable.

PM - I sense a lot of anger in you about cheating and adultery, while I don't condone it at all, the simple fact is it happens and many of us are on her because of it. I've accepted that it's happened and have accepted the fact that I can move past it if she shows genuine remorse and a willingness to change. I think that opens the door big-time for Reconciliation. I've read some estimates that greater than 50% of M are afflicted with it - crazy. I read an excellent book that really helped me understand why it happens - unfortunately due to forum rules I can't reference it here but it has to do with not being just friends if you want to search it.