Thanks. It is encouraging to know that y'all are out there and share a (somewhat) common experience ....
I'm finding myself feeling lots of ups & downs in the last few days. I think outwardly I'm steady, but in my head I'm all over the place.
I'm focusing on seeing reality for what it is. Seeing my W for who she is, and seeing myself for who I am and who I want to become.
Sandi2's words ring very true right now, that no reconciliation happens through a live-in separation. So at the very least I have to be willing to go through a physical separation for there to be any chance of a reconciliation. And in my case a physical separation is a divorce, because my W is not willing to do a separation (and in my state, a separation is legally/essentially the same thing as a divorce). But also, I'm not hanging my hopes on my WW suddenly waking up from her quasi-MLC after the divorce. That's where the Stockdale paradox comes in: I have to see, and I do see, that her character and her outlook on life isn't something she's just going to snap out of. It's a big part of who she is, and has been for a very long time.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
