Lately I've been tempted to join some online dating sites but I know that DR/DB advises against this. Why is that? If we are supposed to be truly acting as if we are "moving on" wouldn't this help?
It isn't really DR/DB advice, it is solid GENERAL advice because you need to work on YOU before you consider adding someone else into the mix of your life. If you fail to do the work to fix the issues you have that may have led to the problems in your MR, you are more likely to experience a repeat of those same problems in another relationship.
Cadet likely wrote you a welcome post at some point that included the reminder that you have been given the gift of time. USE IT!
Originally Posted By: PacLove
If W caught wind of this I know it would certainly send a sign to her (a few of her friends are on the sites so it would likely get back to her at some point)
This is an example of CONTROL and not BOUNDARIES. You move on for YOU, not to send a message to anyone else.
A byproduct of DB'ing is that the spouse is intrigued and sometimes threatened by you moving forward/on, but it is unwise to fake this aspect by engineering the byproduct of hard work without doing the hard work. This would be putting the cart before the horse.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
