The gift of time I received wasn't due to my MLC/WW being indecisive. It had to do w/ a critical health issue of a family member. That issue has resolved, and so the gift of time has run out. Things are in flux, starting now.
During this time, I was very supportive of my MLC/WW and as a result we returned to a relatively warm rapport. But the signal is still clear to me that she's not interested in any type of reconciliation. It's not a surprise to me.
I have done a modest job of detaching, although I have had bad days. And I recognize that the worst is probably yet to come. Still, I feel that the gift of time has allowed me to see my MLC/WW a bit more objectively. My infatuation with my MLC/WW has settled a bit. If there had been no time, a divorce would have been more crushing, I think.
I don't know if I DB-ed all that well. I think I'm too knee deep to have any objectivity about it. I can say the voices and ideas in this forum has constantly challenged me, as well as comforted me at times. I'd like to think that I've become a firmer, steadier presence in my (broken) marriage. And I'm learning to weather my MLC/WW's emotional storms somewhat better.
It's hard to know exactly what the right thing to do is. Especially with people reporting that DB coaches suggest a sunnier, warmer approach; while forum vets advocate a more militaristic, austere protocol of detachment and cake-bashing. Maybe the wisest approach takes from both concepts. My tack for the next few days is to just listen and observe, to get a better sense of what direction my MLC/WW is taking. Then I will plot my own course.
Everything you have written here is completely normal, which I hope is comforting for you to hear. Keep working hard at it and life will unfold as God wills it.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
