Hey, Happy New Years, my friends! I haven't been on the boards and just saw all your advice.
So yes, I saw him. We had dinner. It was OK. We talked some about things. He was indeed pissed that I didn't go to his house that night. he thought I was taking some attitude of "screw him, I don't need him" which is the strong independent thing he was talking about. I told him I don't need him. He is right. It's a matter of wanting in this stage in my life. he seemed to understood that. I won't take you through the whole deal. But he seems to be really into me, wants me to meet his friends and stuff. I really don't know what I am going to do. I don't know how I feel. I really don't know.
No one ever pursued me before. No one. Ever. usually, we end things and they are on to the next person in 2 seconds and don't bother with me. Maybe a part of me enjoys the pursing. Maybe a part of me is trying to fill a need in an unhealthy way. I really don't know. SO I am going to cut myself some slack while I really try to figure it out.
I had the best NYE. Best time. And having a certain someone missing from the party didn't really affect me. I was good with being the single amongst all the couples. Because they are all great and we all click perfectly and are family to me.
However, I saw a picture of that someone with his girlfriend for the first time. It hurt worse than I thought. The only consolation was that he looked miserable. And that's not nice of me.
I shocked myself with my fitness achievements. I am hoping to achieve even more. I am really enjoying the friendship I am developing with my gym buddies. We have some fun stuff planned as a group.
In this new year I think I am just going to continue on the road to my goals. I feel good. I have done a lot with my life. There is one thing I haven't done I NEED to do, and I am still trying to figure out how to achieve that goal.
