Stop paying for her stuff. No need to make a grand proclamation or explanation. You could just text her.
W, I decided not to pay your cell bill any more. Period.
Why wait? She will not just snap out of it. And any longer you postponet it, you will just die a bit more inside.
You need to get yourself out in the world among people. Go hiking, find a hobby, take on square dancing. You need human interaction.
There really is no need to expose her to anyone. It will do no real good. Some people will feel bad for you, some will think that you must have done something awful to her, her friends will side with her, her family might agree with you, but will side with her (blood is thicker than water). It would be super cool if you had a good personal friend that you could confide in and help to get you over these turbulent times.
If you feel depressed, you should see your GP, perhaps go on the meds for a while. This is an extremely shitty situation we all got ourselves into and it will not be going away any time soon.
Do not wait, make a plan and start living for [censored]'s sake.
1. Terminate her phone plan and inform her of it. 2. Terminate her car insurance plan and inform her. 3. Lawyer up, change the locks on your house, but do check with lawyer first. 4. Go out, get some new clothes, new cologne, new haircut. You need to start feeling better about yourself. 5. Join a gym and start going regularly. 6. Force yourself to start going. 3 nights a week for starters would be great. 7. Hobbies, get some. 8. Dreams, surely you had some. You wanted to go to MAchu Pichu, well now is the perfect time. Start moving. Do not die in your body. 9. IC, keep it up, ask for advice about meds, tell IC about your unusual sleep patterns and eating patterns. IMO you are in the grips of depression and if left untreated you could suffer and there is really no need to. 10. Stop waiting for her to wake up. 11. Axe the snooping. IMO you do not want to give up her cell phone plan is because it gives you a way to track her (and snoop). You should stop it. SERIOUSLY... 12. REorganize the house and eliminate her presence. Store away pictures of her, bag her stuff. 13. You are a grown man, time to start to act like one. Grow a pair. You will not believe how good it feels to be reborn a new man. A MAN I SAID! 14. She will spew, water off a duck's back I say. She will call you names and justify her [censored] OM with your actions. Just walk away from her. She is toxic. Imagine her like she is a big ass nuclear reactor that is leaking radiation. You do not want to be anywhere near her. 15. Stop with lunches, coffees, dog crap and god know what else. Show her with YOUR actions not your words. 16. YOU CANNOT NICE HER BACK. NO, SHE WILL NOT WAKE THE [censored] UP AND COME RUNNING BACK IN YOUR ARMS LIKE IT IS SOME CHEESY CHICK FLICK. 17. You are not anywhere near being on her radar. You are a waling pay check. She found the lust and thrill of OM and you are out of the picture. OUT! 18. No, she does not need time to "find herself". 19. No, she will not be doing MC with you anytime soon. 20. Start living as if she is not coming back. For all intents and purposes she is dead to you. 21. Come here and vent if you need. We have all been where you are now. It is a dark place. But it does get better, it really does.
The most important thing is to get your ass in gear. And stop making excuses for you OR for her. The time for excuses is OVER.
You do not need to go through all my points and execute them in a single day or even a week (month). SEt a goal. Even if you just do one per week it is still a great success.
Sometimes I remember Charley Brown and Snoopy when CB says to Snoop: Someday we will all die.
And Snoopy replies: True, but on all the other days we will not...
