I had thought about telling her that I am going to discontinue paying the cell phone and car insurance, as I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I may wait just a little while longer though.
Why wait? You ARE being taken advantage of and she'll keep doing it as long as you let her. And that will only prolong your limbo. Stand up for yourself. You don't have to be dramatic about it. Simply tell her, "We're separated, you're having and A and so I will no longer support you financially." End of story. You don't even have to be ugly about it. Its just a statement of a boundary that you are enforcing.
I do think you need to talk to an attorney about legal separation so that you fully understand everything. I would not say anything to her about it. While it is probably technically true that you would be on the hook financially for any debt she runs up right now, I don't think you would if in fact things came to a D. No reasonable judge is going to shackle you with debt that she ran up after you were S and while she was having an A. I would think the judge would stick the liability for that debt on her in the event of a D. However, I'm not a lawyer so you should definitely speak with one.
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
