Lost in the MLC Desert

[AndrewP]

d_Rose - Thank you for the kind comments over on my thread. Unfortunately I finished off the last of the Jelly Beans or I would indeed offer you some.

I wanted to pop over though and follow up on your comment about fear. Buried waaay back in my threads I had a very good conversation with eric about my own fear. He made me stare right at it and know it.

I am honestly too consumed with fear to take those steps. Not fear that I will not survive without H and my M, I will. But fear that I will push H further away. To give the impression that I am anxious to have a final decision that I may not be happy with.

This is something that I think all of us struggle with. I know that I certainly did. I think for me the turning point was the realization that there was indeed nothing that my W could do any more that was worse than what she had already done and the assumption that she and OM would make a go of it. I'm not sure what's going on there.

I presume you've read the homework on pursuit / distancing? Fascinating stuff. There is so much contradictory advice and information out there though as I'm sure you realize. "Be the lighthouse" sounds great however in some ways it is in it's own fashion a form of pursuit.

So - accept that you have fear. Understand it and then it will no longer have power over you even though it still is there. One of the key messages that I've learned here is that the only person you can control or have power over is yourself. Knowledge of yourself, loving yourself is key to being yourself.