I'm here so I don't get fined.

[trumpet]

So, journaling:

Had a very busy week of work - end of year sales job, always crazy. Looked forward to date at my place with my potential 'significant other'. The convo went deeper than anticipated, and I think we're moving forward. I guess date #4 will have more of that discussion.

I reduced my SSRI, after bumping it up a few weeks ago. The insomnia stopped for the most part - but not last night, as after I spend time with her, my mind races. We did have some very 'intimate' moments, but nothing carnal... so doodler, sorry to disappoint. Yet, we realize we have a huge spark, and she mentioned she hasn't felt like this since high school. I keep looking at her and not seeing my physical 'ideal', but I'm very attracted to her, and in ways that would be life-long - conversation, personality, kindness, our faith. Things that would keep a relationship moving. Make no mistake, the physical is there, but I've always had a thing for brown eyes - she's blue. She's more of dishwater blond - me, always been a sucker for brunettes. Maybe as we get older, we see past the physical pettiness, and see the deeper soul that really matters?

Either way, I know I don't think much about EX-WW. My brain is now on constant new girl. And I have a smile on my face. Having custody schedules means we get together once a week. And after thinking about it, it's probably a strength for me (I have time for my kids and myself, and am able to 'pump the brakes' on my emotions), as well as curse (would need more time with her to really form the serious connection). I think she might be the one - but it's been 7 months since the divorce, so that screams REBOUND. It does to her, and it does to me. We're committed to taking it slow... but realizing the first relationship after a divorce can be very emotionally heightened, I'm really focused on processing my emotions, and trying to keep a level head.

I think the next time we get together we're going to do something fun - take a walk, do an activity, go to a party. Just spending time together to keep the conversation moving vs. the deep and meaningful.