Hi Everyone! Holiday greetings.

Son and I had a wonderful holiday with my sister, her wife, and their son. It snowed so it was a white Christmas. My sister and SIL helped out a lot with my son so it was really nice in that regard as well. SIL and I went to see the new Star Wars movie, which was awesome. A few hikes, yummy food, and egg nog. I really am very fortunate to have them in my life.

H announced last night that he isn't going to therapy anymore. He doesn't think it's helping nor does he think the therapist is very experienced. I don't want to mindread or try to speculate about whether this is true or not. What I do know is this isn't good.

I also discovered he is having sex with a married co-worker. When we were "working on the marriage" I combed through his cell phone records and found her number coming up fairly regularly. He denied anything was going on between them . . . another lie. When I found out, yes it hurt, but it really didn't surprise me.

When I step back and I look at this whole situation and I look at how far down the rabbit hole he is, it is hard to imagine him ever coming out of this.

I just cannot see it. Especially since he isn't going to therapy anymore.

I am losing hope everyday. But I will say this, it makes it much easier to let go, that is for sure.