At times it might be hard to see things because we are in the fog of it, so it's nice to have a third point of view. We are all in it together, and we will all come out of it stronger with or without WAS.
Westo - I thought I'd just pop around and say "hello". Sadly the egg-nog is all gone now although there still is a tot of rum in the bottle - perhaps for another day.
I think as far as OW goes the "best" thing to do is to continue to assume that she is in the picture until your own H tells you that she is not. I remember clearly on June 2nd believing that OM and my W had split. Her activities, habits and the way she treated me changed. She had had a huge crying jag and was incredibly angry. I was wrong - boy oh boy was I wrong and when she told me 6 weeks later that her A was still on-going it hurt even more.
I remember that I used to label the feelings that W was turning away from OM and back to me "hope gremlins" and would literally jump up and down on them trying to stomp them out.
Perhaps a different way to think is to realize that OW is basically irrelevant. She's a symptom, not a cause. Whether she is there or not, you still love your husband even if you are incredibly frustrated and angry with him. It's like children in some ways. Your child can and probably has done things that make you incredibly angry. You don't stick them in the Royal Mail with a "return to sender" stamp on them. You are patient and loving.
Anyway - that's probably enough from me for now. Sending you a big hug from across the Pond (((Westo))). I expect one back now ....
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Like Andrew said assumes that OW is in the picture unless there are concrete and visible proofs that she is out of the picture.
I was too looking for signs but it would end up hurting me more, so now I have no expectations whatsoever. It is hard to get there to start with but eventually you get the hang of it and it gets easier each time.
Keep on your side of the road, look after yourself and kids.
Westo my dear! I hope you had a good New Years. It was quiet here with a good friend texting me regularly to not text my W <smile>. The cats and I rang in 2017 and for the first time in about 3 decades I started a new year without a kiss. I hope you got one.
All is well I hope?
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Happy new year! It was a very quiet one for me too. I ended up popping across the road to see midnight in with D.....we both had a few tears and a big hug (cwtch).
S was at a party but sent a text. H sent D a text that evening and I assume he did to S too, but I didn't ask!
I'm sorry D didn't receive a card or text. It's typical of them. I'm sure when she hears from him, she'll tell him about it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
