You are S and she is active with OM. You should not be supporting her financially in ANY way. Tell her she needs to get her own cell phone plan and car insurance. Do that NOW. Then detach and go dark. The changes you need to make are for YOU not for her. I know you are S but you need to be making changes in your life for you. Doing so will make you better person and build your self confidence. If you truly do these things for you, then they are real changes that will be noticed by everyone you come into contact with. If/When you come into contact with your W again (you eventually will) she will see a completely new you IF you make these changes for YOU.
You need to emotionally leave/divorce her. THIS is how you save your M. Turn yourself into a better man and show her that you are actually a better person without her.
WARNING! 2x4 coming. I say this with love and not to bring you down. But really, I think you need to grow a pair and start standing up for yourself. Do things that will build self confidence. She will eventually see it. You FIGHT for your M by letting her go.
