Waywards do come back. First step: LET GO

[BluWave]

Sara, thank you. You are too kind. I am glad that my perspective is helpful. I am trying to challenge myself to be more openminded to the differences in others' sitches. I recognize that the specific sequence of events is different for all of us. My H did a sharp turnaround, however I don't think it was due to what I did, only partly when I finally let go. I do think that my lack of DB skills did prolong my sitch. Knowing what I know now, if I had implemented DB from day one, I don't think he wouldn't have ever left for OW.

I am always impressed with the resiliency of some of the posters, yourself included! I didn't have that and I developed some very unhealthy coping mechs. Of course I would like to go back and reassure my wounded self that I would be okay. I cannot. So I think coming here and supporting others has become therapeutic for me. I am also finally able to look inward and 180, GAL, etc because I am finally recovering from the trauma of it all. Some of it just needed time. I also am an emotional/type A/controlling person, and so letting go of the outcome and just living has been my greatest challenge.

Sara, I really admire you. We don't often discuss your children, but that you are going through this with 3 young children makes your situation more unique and especially challenging! I just know one day you will look back on this and think, oh my, how did I do that!?! The thing is, you don't have to "do it all." You are perfectly okay the way you are. I was so glad to read in your thread that you can identify what makes you happy. I often wish I was the lady who went to the gym every day, cooked amazing meals every night, and finished a great book every week. But that is not me. And what matters most is that I am learning to be okay with that.

Blu