Not sure where I am so no title!

[d_Rose]

Hi Coly,

I can relate to the daily pain of realizing our MLCers do not want to be with us right now. It hurts. No way around it. I am still waiting for that fresh, raw hurt to go away. But at the same time I have gotten used to living with it. The new normal.

Now the challenge is to let ourselves imagine a future with joy and happiness not tied to our H. If they choose to join us, great. This is the step that is hard for me, as right now my vision of a happy future is tied to the outcome of our marriage. I know I will survive regardless, but still need to really internalize and "feel" that I can find peace and joy again regardless of the outcome. I know I can't do that if all my thoughts and energy are focused on him and his actions vs. doing things for myself. It really is a daily struggle to refocus on me vs. what I want him to do. We cannot control the choices they make.

I know our situations are a little different. Maybe easier for me to put up a (very low) wall - all I have to do is think of him sleeping with OW. But our timelines are similar - I know how painful it still is for you. I think it is positive he asked to spend New Years Day with you and D. Enjoy and try not to read too much or too little into it. Try to just "be" in the moment.

Hope you decide to go to your Sister's on NYE - sounds like fun!