Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #2

[Woke_Up]

If your W struggles to, or never, apologises then she is most likely abusive and sadly she may never change.
Surfer.

This is her. Even yesterday when I asked her to apologise for the unfounded rapist comments, she thought I was talking about the EA and said she won't apologise, she won't be forced to apologise, she will only do it for herself.... which is rarely.

You're right. Someone once told me that behavioural personalities are set by teh time someone is 5 years old. Not sure if this is true, but I do know that growing up her father was controlling, mentally abusive to her mother, and mentally and physically abusive to her - she was the one tat always stood up to him, and therefore always took the beatings.

When I met her, she was 12 months out of a cr@ppy co-dependent R, and still not over it. She pretty much hated men while still wanting me. I guess this is where my rescuer personality came in. Thought I could prove to her that not all men are a-holes. You're right. She is damaged from before. It is not her fault. I do not know if she would even acknowledge it as damage. She says her childhood made her stronger, the person she is today, who takes no cr@p.

I have the book you mention, I'm waiting to get into it. The irony of actually being in this situation and having virtually no private time to do any reading. I'm back at work on Tuesday, with plenty of train time for my reading.