Had my coaching session today. My coach said that it is a good sign that W seems to want to maintain contact with me. She said it is a sign that she still feels a connection with me. She also said that the fact that we are friendly is a good thing because friendship is the foundation of a good marriage. I am supposed to look at her as a friend for now. If a friend called and asked to get in my hot tub I would say sure so it's ok to let her use it as long as she asks. I also can't judge her as if she is my wife but as if she were just a friend.
Exactly. Think of a neighbor you are friends with. There is a good relationship, but clear boundaries.
Originally Posted By: BillyHo
The struggle I have now is finding people in my life that understand why I am still standing for my M. Everyone wants me to move on because I deserve better. They say I could find someone else without any trouble. It makes me sad to think that these people would just give up on a 18yr M because things have gotten really bad. I don't think M is something you just give up on. I think this is worth fighting for. I know they just want me to stop hurting and I will. This is making me stronger than I ever knew I could be. I am on this journey and I am going to ride it out to the end.
This predicament is not uncommon and is addressed in the book by stating these people are buying because YOU are hurting and don't always give the best advice.
Ignore their advice, and if it becomes too troublesome tell them to leave you alone about it. You do what you think is best, right, and congruous to your goals. You don't owe anyone any explanations if you are doing so.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
