My story as a LBS of a MLCer

[AndrewP]

Westo - I thought I'd just pop around and say "hello". Sadly the egg-nog is all gone now although there still is a tot of rum in the bottle - perhaps for another day.

I think as far as OW goes the "best" thing to do is to continue to assume that she is in the picture until your own H tells you that she is not. I remember clearly on June 2nd believing that OM and my W had split. Her activities, habits and the way she treated me changed. She had had a huge crying jag and was incredibly angry. I was wrong - boy oh boy was I wrong and when she told me 6 weeks later that her A was still on-going it hurt even more.

I remember that I used to label the feelings that W was turning away from OM and back to me "hope gremlins" and would literally jump up and down on them trying to stomp them out.

Perhaps a different way to think is to realize that OW is basically irrelevant. She's a symptom, not a cause. Whether she is there or not, you still love your husband even if you are incredibly frustrated and angry with him. It's like children in some ways. Your child can and probably has done things that make you incredibly angry. You don't stick them in the Royal Mail with a "return to sender" stamp on them. You are patient and loving.

Anyway - that's probably enough from me for now. Sending you a big hug from across the Pond (((Westo))). I expect one back now ....