Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #2

[Woke_Up]

Thank you Sandi, much appreciated as always.

Today has been OK - she has been semi affectionate at times (prob a temp check), a bit crabby and sarcastic (as usual) at others.

My main trouble is, with W & D around all the time (holidays), I haven't even had 5 minutes to set up an appointment with L, which I want to do, just so I have some facts to keep me steady. I tend to bluster & BS when I don't have facts, and that's easy to spot. If I can take away the fear of not seeing kids every day and the financial fear (if I still have to pay for everything and she gets to stay in the house) - then it will help. I'd like to know that if we S, then at least the house would be sold and we could split any equity. I'm not tight, I just would like to be able to live in a place where D or SS can stay over. I would never have an issue with paying child support, over and above the UK legal requirement. I think it is going to take this much for her to get the wake up call. If I just leave and am financing everything and being held hostage over the kids, it won't work, she won't get the message.

I'm still in the MBR. I'm planning on buying some furniture for it for my stuff - think I mentioned that I had been out of it for so long and that it had never even had my clothes in it. I'm not surprised she started to think of it as hers... but then she started to take control of every room in the house and make those hers as well.

The downside of the MBR is that I can't read any of the books I've bought (DR/Verbal Abusive R's, Love must be Tough).

Tomorrow she has some friends over (Mum's of D's school friends) with their kids, so she told me I could go out (nice). She later managed to change that into you can lock yourself in the study or work in the garden and wasn't happy when I said I'd planned on going out. Started moaning that she supposed SHE would have to do it all. Gaslighting again. Now as it happens, I'd already planned on doing some of the so called 'Manly' tasks, but I will be going to meet a friend I haven't seen for quite a while for lunch. Next week I'm starting some GAL one evening a week and a Saturday morning.

Thanks for your support, I'll keep posting... and I'll keep trying to man up