I would be happy and grateful that he actually acknowledged all of you. Try to think of it as a nice gesture from a friend/neighbor. When the opportunity arises, thank him for the card. I would still keep my expectations very low because of the holidays and the fact that MLCers tend to come out to play during this time of the year.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Expectations are zero, but I did tell D that I believe the card shows we are very much in his thoughts right now.
I have been out a few times lately with ex work colleagues and the photos of me having a good time are on Facebook. He activates and deactivates his account often and I do wonder if he's seen them and maybe senses the rope dropping?
Yes, the MLCers do think about us, family and traditions during the holidays. They may act and say differently, but they do think about what they've walked away from. In their passive aggressive way, they let us know, i.e., the card.
Keep the focus on you and your family.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well, he was deffinately thinking of us today. D received a text at 3pm from H hoping we were all having a nice day.
She was sat on my sofa at the time (he would know that we would have just finished eating by then).
He told her that he was working and was sat in the van watching Harry Potter. There really was no need for him to text. He had sent us all a card after all.
I think it was his way of letting me know he wasn't spending the day with OW. He also texted S yesterday....S did answer as he has texted S a few times in the last couple of weeks, same as D.
I do feel bad that he seems to be on his own today....but It's his choice to do so.
I take comfort from his card, I will never throw it. My soul tells me it is for me and letting me know I am in his thoughts.
He only had to send the kids cards....didn't have to include me.
The flush on the toilet has broken and I messaged my SS to look for a replacement part on EBay. H asked D in his text if it had been fixed...I told her to message back that I will manage.
I am so looking forward to NYE.......I don't know what the New Year will bring and frankly I don't care. It can't get any worse!
I honestly think that if H was with OW and is happy and intends to never come back.....why send that card?
He's a good man and likes to be liked......I would like to think that if he knows he will never come back and he must know by now......he would be preparing me.
By not sending that card. He may never want to come back but I believe he's going about it the right way, if he did.
The priority for me is for him to build the bridges with D and S which he seems to be doing.
I'm absolutely fine if he never comes back....my kids are the most important in this whole sorry saga.
There is a ton of mind reading up there. Like a TON. 3 years of this .... I knew her every move and every thought after 25 years but I will tell you this ... once the crisis starts toss all that out the window as you have no idea what they are thinking, what the intention is nor what they are doing/planning ..... why? Because they themselves have no idea ... seriously they are so thick in the fog they do not even know what they are thinking so how on earth could we?
You might think the card has some hidden meaning, this is the search for that magic bullet, that cryptic message that only you would understand but from the outside its simply a card. He included you because he did ... that's it ... its a card.
Try not to spend your time trying to go all DaVinci Code on this, you can not make the crisis become logical, its like trying to straighten out spaghetti
Just some thoughts for you to muse over and hopefully you understand where I am coming from.
I have just started to read your post and I can see a lot of mind reading. You need more actions from him to really start to think that he is coming back. Like you I used to mind read everything that H did, but the fact is that he is still with OW. So don't look to hard for things, have no expectations and carry on leading your life like he isn't coming back.
Your H might be checking if you are still there waiting for him.
