I have skimmed over several Internet sites on the topic of the emotional bullying wife. I was mainly seeking solutions, and sorry to say.......not much was offered. I mainly found "signs" of emotional bullying. I found one Christian based site that offered suggestions, and the others just said to get a divorce b/c she would never change, and one said they had seen some men change, but not the bullying abuse from a wife. Hopefully, a complete book devoted to the subject will be more helpful.

If you doubt you are M to an emotional bullying W, just check out the list of signs! Oh, I also found it frustrating that I was unable to find practical solutions for the H who has an emotional abusive W who was in an A and wants a D!

I did stumble onto one site that talked about the importance of personal boundaries, detaching from the abuser, speaking up, calling the abusive w out on her bad behavior, and some other things. Do not keep it hidden or a secret. Reach out to a friend, group support, counselor, etc. And......do not feed the bully what she wants.

I think some H's are thrown by her initiating sex or affection. It is a manipulative move from her, to keep control of the R. One site said to never give in to the bully and think you just need to love her more, b/c that is the worst thing.

I think about the only difference in male and female bullies in a MR, is the male doesn't wear lipstick. Personally, I think females are more manipulative and usually can use sex for leverage, but that's just me.

Others on the board who have lived with an abuser can be much more helpful. I just wanted you to know that I was trying to find something to give you, and had not forsaken you.

Don't be ashamed to reach out for help and let someone know what is going on.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!