I have to say, all signs point to your H being a very very depressed individual. Like seriously clinically depressed.
My mother was. Well, she was bipolar, but not on the manic side as often as the majorly depressive.
Everything you describe your H to do, was what my mother did. Sleep most of the day. Very uninterested in being involved in my life from pretty much birth. Had no desire to be a part of the family. She brought me to the peak of absent days from school because she simply didn't feel like waking up and driving me 2 minutes. Any activity I was interested in she talked me out of because she didn't want to bring me. Her depression kept her distance, withdrawn, and passive. Unless she was high on coke or high from a trip to atlantic city (my mom traded her drug addiction for a gambling addiction after she got clean) she was completely passive and withdrawn.
I come to believe your ex's passivity is depression.
The good news is, my dad offered stability, interest and love in my life. That is why I didn't become a total screw up and I became somewhat successful (except in the area of romantic relationships). So your influence in your sons life will certainly make the difference for him. I am proof! I do hope maybe someone close to your H, like his mother will help him realize he needs help. She's enabling his depression right now and he is not feeling the need to get help. he needs it.
I am glad you kept your NYE plans. No mom guilt for you. You deserve a life.
