You return to ask the same questions... Still seeking to quench your thirst... We continue to direct you to the water right in front of you...
It is time to make a choice. What will you do?
Choice is the most powerful tool we have. Everything boils down to choice. We exist in a field of infinite possibilities. Every choice we make shuts an infinite number of doors and opens an infinite number of doors. At any point we can change the direction of our lives by a simple choice. It is all in our hands, our hearts, our minds.~Unknown
The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. ~Maimonides
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. ~Will Rogers
Still praying for you brother, but with indecision and inaction , there is very little more any of us here can do for you.
What will you do?
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
I'm sure you'll make a decision when you feel ready Ghost...at some point, your wheels will stop spinning and you will gain traction. I'm looking forward to that day and I'll be right here cheering you on!
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I just came across these words of wisdom that made me think of you... Perhaps you can glean some wisdom from them as I have.
The 3 C's of life: Choices Chances Changes You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.
The power is within you It has always been within you
What Choice will you make to take a chance to experience some change... You do not like your current circumstances... What have you got to lose by making a decision to change them?
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Sh thank you for your wisdom you are like the orical in the Matrix
George Michael sang a song Last Christmas and for him this really was his last
Nobody knows what is arround the corner I suspect this is to be my last Christmas in house together W wants to be in separate houses and I am actually at the point where I am close to wanting this myself.
Estate agent is booked for first week in January I am working on a plan on how I will move forward
I am very concerned for my 3 year old and how this will affect her long term emotional development being raised as a single parent child I cry when I read internet pages on MLC and how parents splitting up when they were a child and not having love and stability as a child can trigger MLC for,them much later in life am I or is she setting our daughter up for much of the same for when she is older
I am happy most of the time and I have found peace that this ...my situation was destined to happen it stems from her having an abusive stepmother when her mum left when she was a child and not having the closeness of loving parents
I think I need to be moving out of newcomers perhaps MLC forum or even take a break
Sotto SH Sandi Huddy Roist V Fogg not to mention many many of my other DB friends I really do love you all and hope you have the best new year possible
Me and my children
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Hi AtP - pleased for you WRT the house offer and hope all goes smoothly.
As to whether you legally S or file for D, it's up to you. From all that you post I wonder whether you would be ready to file for D? If legal S can work for you guys you may want to go for that in the first instance.
Whatever you decide, it's important to have clarity on some key areas - financials, children etc..before you guys physically S.
Sounds like a door will be closing for you....but another one opening too....:-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
You must own that choice. I am not sure you do. If you move out with the mindset that you had no choice, it will haunt you. You have the choice to stay or go. You repeatedly state W wants separate living situations.We heard that but she never made it happen. Is she making it happen now? Or is this you?
None of us choose to be in our situations (though I believe ultimately it was choices we made throughout our lives that lead us here, but that is another debate). But now that we are here we still get to choose our path.
I want you to own this decision and turn it into an opportunity. It's a new life about to begin. If you start it by resenting it, it will not work for you.
Get a legally binding agreement in place. After that S or D is just paperwork.If your question was about whether you filing for divorce may wake your W up and shake her into wanting to come back. That could happen but I doubt it would be immediate. Best to just focus on making this the best life possible for you and your kids.
Best wishes and good luck
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
If it's any consolation, my daughter was 6 months old when my ex left. She is now 9, extremely bright, kind hearted, animated, happy little girl who loves life.
I read an article once of parents who stayed together for the kids. Every last one of them said they wished their parents had divorced because of the unhealthy dynamic they witnessed between their parents and/or fighting.
Yes, I know what you are going to say, if we could just stay together and build a healthy marriage that would be best. But it's not an option on the table. And not only one person can make that happen.
So it's okay to feel sad for your child. Mine still gets upset sometimes when she misses her dad. But it is not destroying her life in the least bit.
