Hanging and hoping- seperation edition

[BillyHo]

So I've really been thinking about this since my last post. I have no idea how to define things between W and I. If I had to guess, which I do, I would say she is afraid to totally let go and is enjoying her cake. Being the "nice guy" people pleaser I am, I have allowed it to go on thus far. The thing is I have been so worried about rocking the boat or pissing her off that I just went along with it. I think it is time to start doing what is right for me. I am tired of giving and getting nothing in return. If she can be selfish and only think of what makes her happy then it is time to take my balls back start looking out for #1. From here on out the bakery is closed and there will be no cake eaten on my watch. Until she can say that she wants to work on us or at least try to build to a point we can work on us she will need to feel what it is like to be without me and all of the wonderful benefits that come with being my significant other.

She doesn't respect me and she won't until I stand up for myself and take control of the sitch. If she gets mad, what's she going to do? Move out, oh yea she's already gone. It is time for her to feel a loss and realize that I'm not going to be there to help her until she is ready to give a little back. It makes me sad to think that I became this pushover in the last six years. In the first 12 years of our marriage I wasn't the best husband and was a little selfish. Guess what, that's when she wanted me the most. It's time to start doing for me and let the cards fall where they may.