Bonjour Rouky. I have missed you so much. I had to take a little break from here. I have reached a pretty good place with everything. My health is much improved and I am starting to feel very confident about it. While I have issues that my doctors continue to monitor I certainly feel much better. Most of my weight has returned and my efforts in the gym are paying off. I have a hard body these days and I am stronger than I have ever been. My sister bumped into me at Christmas and said wow you have a hard butt. We laughed and I showed her my muscles.
As for my love life, I am still trying to get divorced. I really have no idea where it is all going but I know there is no way in h311 I will ever take her back. An interesting development though is that STBXW has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Can anyone say Karma? Maybe OM will take a $h!t on her during her treatment like she did to me. The frustrating thing is that I feel sorry for her while she felt only disdain for me when I was so sick. My main concern is for S15. He seems fine with it but of course it has to be affecting him. He is such a beautiful person however and is putting all of his efforts into his violin and his school work. I wonder if he will break at some point. If he can continue on this trajectory you will hear about him some day as he is very good.
I think of you often Rouky and our little affair wink I will never forget your kindness and how many times you picked me up and made me feel loved. I am still not dating anyone although I have many opportunities. You were supposed to come to Indiana to see me!
It is so amazing to be single at this point in my life. So much has changed in fifteen years. All this internet and cell phones.........I am very thankful for the advice of my therapist about waiting for a year to date anyone. I highly recommend it to all newly separated lovers. I have so much clarity about my relationship with STBXW and as I have previously stated I have this incredibly powerful paternal aspect to my personality and I have to be very guarded when it comes to ladies who are looking for a father figure. To put it simply it is hard to send a forty year old to her room without supper. And younger women can be very impressionable.

Rouky I will spend some time catching up on you as I had to step back from all of the pain of your situation. I want desperately for you to be happy and for your children to be healthy but like you I connect so deeply to emotion that it can be very taxing. I promised you that I would never leave you though and I am here praying for you always. I love you and I miss you and I will be waiting for you to find your way across the pond............

M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.