Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 8

[skyhigh]

Detaching is not easy, it goes against our primary instinct which is to beg and try to fix things. It's something we have to push ourselves to do. Making yourself scarce is excellent, anyway it removes also yourself from the tension and keep you away from the temptation of reaching out to him. He is in his own world, the more you will try to communicate with him about your relationship, future and feelings, the more he will run away or he will stop any contact with you.

The positive side of your situation is that he is still at home, he didn't run away to live with another OW, he must somehow still care for his children at a certain level. He is in limbo. Treat him at a neighbor, be polite but interactions should be limited to the minimum, it will lessen the pressure that he feels as a MLCer in his mind.

Also try not to initiate any calls, messages or conversations unless you need it absolutely. They interpret those as us trying to trick them back into talking about the relationship in a very sneaking way. They are extremely sensitive to pressure, almost like having an anaphylactic shock to us every times we are making contact with them.
The good side of that, it will help you also to apply GAL better.

Something else if you have to answer a question coming from them, treat it in a very professional, make sure there is no feeling whatever inside, keep it very short. He probably didn't answer your message about the car because "you always do a fantastic job" was too personal, the first portion was ok. The more professional I became with my answers to my husband, the more messages I got. It made him safer, feeling the pressure was going away.

Again, it's not easy to deal with a MLCer don't beat yourself, you are a fantastic woman you have a very clear view of your situation, surround you with a few good friend, laugh is essential, endorphins are good for the mind.