My third post - please be nice

[collin]

So, I've been quiet the past few months. No real reason. Just...life.

Things are up and down. She'll stay at the house some, sometimes for a couple nights, sometimes for a week or so. Then randomly she'll go back to her apt and my world comes crashing down. It really came down monday night when she said she was going to go back over there to sleep and it just hit me hard. I panicked and it led to an argument. I know it shouldn't of, but it did. Now, I guess the best thing for me to do is to really back off? Right?

I know what my problem is...in my mind we're still "married" in reality we're separated. I just don't know how to separate the two. I don't know how to look at her and not see my wife. I don't know what to do really.

She keeps on saying that she felt alone for the past 5 years (thus the reason we are in this position) and she has given up. So how does one reignite the flame?

It feels so good to be writing back on here. It's kind of therapeutic like just getting it off my chest.

Anyways, hope you all had a merry christmas.

Oh, and within the past few months she's started to question her Christianity and belief in God. So, that's another thing all together...