Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #2

[Woke_Up]

oooh, today's a doozy.

WW spoiling for a fight all day, (well, since last night) and got her way just now. Pushed my buttons.

Asked me if I was a psychopath (she's been listening to stuff on Psychos on Youtube again), asked me how I knew, so I said I felt genuine emotions, and she said she had never seen any. I SHOULD know better. I knew even as it was happening.

I lit up, grabbed her phone, proved she was contacting OM, threw her phone out of the room into the hallway (soft landing, carpeted), went into her lack of respect, etc. Let her know I had seen messages she had been sending (my bad), said it wasn't on that she was talking about SS16 issues with OM, etc etc.

I apologised for losing control. Said I would discuss anything with her calmly. Said I wanted to fix our R but can't work on it will she is engaged in EA. That until she realised that this (our R and family) was worth more than the EA, that we couldn't work on all the past issues (she was trying to drag them up). That I knew she was trying to manipulate me.

Anyway, she actually smiled as I was showing her the phone, like she was laughing my my face. She claims she was laughing at my behaviour. I was furious after that.

Then she started telling me I triggered her anxiety. I responded that her affair triggers her anxiety.

Anyway, have calmed down. She's trying to manipulate me into making her a cup of tea, so I said she can't treat me like her b!tch while she is abusing and disrespecting me like this. Then she tried to guilt me because she had made supper.

I'm really annoyed at myself. DB'ing went out of the window, sometimes I'm like an observer of my own outbursts but just as a passenger, unable to intervene until it's too late.

Have said to WW that I allowed her to push my buttons, that that was what she set out to do, and that I shouldn't have allowed it, I'm my own worst enemy. Even managed a wry laugh about it.

Let's see what this evening brings. Fun & games.