I filed - Anxious to get it over

[doodler]

I'm looking forward to defining myself for myself only.

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
Those kids were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening
Make sure you have expert timing
Kung Fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning...

[cheesyt]

any updates fightin?
w reaching out or anything?

doodler-the cannibalism post on my thread was hilarious! thanks for the laugh

[fightin]

Well I'm moving back into my house here in my home town that I was renting out. My roommate is my ex (previous). We are on good terms and I've set plenty of boundaries. My brother is planning to move in with us when his lease is up. That's the only update I have so far.

Nope, she hasn't reached out at all. I don't expect her to either.

Thanks for checking in!

Doodler, you crack me up!

[fightin]

Update: SS informed me that my STBXW is trying to convince him to stop seeing him.

I got to spend the evening with SS yesterday. It was really great. I helped him out some Mega Blok guys together and we had dinner and watched him open presents. Afterward we all went to see 2 different light displays. It was a very nice evening and it was so great to spend time with him. I hope everyone had a good Christmas. I'm

[cheesyt]

hey anything new here? just checking in. hope you had a good xmas.

[hawker]

How are you doing? I hope you are having a good holiday!

[fightin]

Hey ladies! Nothing new here regarding the STBXW. Still NC from her and I still don't have a court date for the D. I guess with the holidays it is just going to be delayed for a bit. As far as I know STBXW hasn't been served with custody papers yet either.

SS informed me she's been saying pretty awful things about me. Not sure why he thinks I need to know other than he seems very upset about it. It is a bit ironic after she spewed via text to me to not talk bad about her in front of him, as if I ever have or would.

Other than that I'm settled nicely into my new (old) place. I finally got a bed so I'm not sleeping on a mattress on the floor. It feels good to have my own space and my own schedule.

I had a good holiday. I think I'll go see my family for a while this weekend. In 2 weeks I get to go to see my step kids from a previous relationship so I'm super stoked about that! My SD-13 is in FFA and showing her rabbits so I scheduled my visit so I wouldn't miss out on that.

I hope everyone else is doing well and also is having a good holiday!

[Vanilla]

Just checking in with you fightin.

Your wonderful SS is confused by WW, it makes no sense to him just as it makes no sense to you. Just listen and validate without running her down. It's ok.

Enjoy your step kids fightin and a happy New Year.

V

[fightin]

Thanks, V! That's what I do. When he told me I just told him that I understand that it upsets him, and that sometimes people's feelings for one another change, especially when they break up or divorce. Also that is okay for her to feel differently about me now, even if it isn't nice, but that if he is bothered by what she is saying he can just leave the room so he doesn't have to hear it.

I will, I haven't seen them since the July so I'm looking forward to it!

Happy New Year to you as well!

[fightin]

Update:
Spoke to STBXW via text. I had mailed her a check for my part of the car insurance. I'm finishing out this period and then getting on my own insurance. She text me to let me know that she received it. I then asked her to email me a copy as I don't remember the login. She emailed me 12/31 and mentioned she had been spending the last 6 hours putting Legos together with SS. I replied back today, 1/3, that was a lot of Lego time, but I'm sure they had fun and thanked her again for sending the copy of the insurance.

She then replied with more about the Legos and SS and then said something about that's probably more than I want to know and even though I have asked her not to ask me how I'm doing she hopes that I'm doing well.

I took the bait. Partly because since we never talk or see each other I do want her to know that I'm doing well and partly I was hoping if I told her I'm doing well then it would give her whatever peace of mind she's looking for from saying that and then be happy with it and stop saying it. Also though, I am at a pretty good place and I wanted to tell her thank you for what she did to me because it pushed me to grow and this is actually been the most liberating experience of my life. I also told her that I always love hearing about SS because he's amazing and I love him.

She again replied that yes he's amazing he loves me too. Clearly a different tune from trying to keep me away from him and telling him he doesn't need to love me anymore.
She also said that she's "super happy to know you are doing well and at a good place and found peace within, you are an amazing woman and I only want the best for you and I’m genuinely so proud of you for putting yourself first for a change and doing what is best for you and finding that peace." and she doesn't regret any of our time together only the way it ended and how she'll always hate herself a little for that. How she will always cherish how much fun we had together and that no one can take those memories from us. She said she's "doing good" and just happy that I'm talking to her. She added a few smiley faces and said she knows that asking me to talk to her is a lot to ask and how she has no right to ask anything of me, but does enjoy hearing that I'm doing well.

I did not reply to the last email. For one, I have a sneaking suspicion that if I do she will continue to try to be my "friend" and if things go south with OW she will try to weasel her way back into my life and honestly that is no longer what I want or need. Two, I'm not here to ease her guilt or be her friend.