That's me in the spotlight

[AndrewP]

I have over analyzed this conversation to an extreme degree

Soul Sister!

played Paigo poker for hours and hours, lost 70 which is fine

And then there's this myth that us Mathematicians can do great at this. I lost at dominoes to a guy who works on a road crew holding the "slow/stop" sign but it turns out is great at seeing patterns ;-)

I don't get a pass. A small action on my part is unforgivable. I see this now, his intolerance and lack of respect for me. It's sad to see.

I beg to differ on this. I believe that it is written that "we hurt the ones we love the most". <excessive analysis redacted>

Enjoy Vegas and the nice warm weather. This was a very good update - you are growing my friend.

[Altair]

Thank you job.
If I end up doing medical stuff in January I will probably have a friend take me. I just needed him to know, in a next-of-kin kind of way. I didn't expect anything from him. I told him I appreciated his offer to take me if need be, and I'd let him know. But yes, he is still the MLCing depressed person. OK off to gamble a bit. Maybe I'll get lucky!

[Altair]

AP-- lol on dominoes! I am not good at dominoes.
I mean, yes, I can count cards and do quite well at blackjack IF there's not multiple decks. The house knows very well how to reduce odds for players- there are very few games that the house doesn't have better odds.
Also I'd have to pay attention when counting cards and these days I'm really distracted. AND you have to be really sober. Maybe today.
I never played Paigo before it is thoughtless, there is zero strategy it's you vs the dealer, that's it. I can't believe how mindless it is-- and played because my friend loves it so it was a blast. We will play craps tonight- another game with little strategy. A wee bit of dice probability can keep me going for hours of not winning or losing.
I am going to research Paigo odds and see what the real deal is. I tried to think about it last night as I was playing but I needed a pencil and paper. Will report anon.

[Altair]

AP-
one more thing (also your post was very funny might I add)
if you think 39 degrees F is "warm weather" and you might, then sure, I am "enjoying the warm weather".

It is sunny, there's that.

[Altair]

Hi all,
journaling.
I do have a request for advice. How to DB/NC/180/whathave you in a medical situation with an MLC/WH?

I got a call this am (in vegas) more tests are needed. I'm not feeling too good/positive about my health right now. But adding to that is this. So H wants to be kept in the loop, says he cares, but come on. It's not going to happen in any normal way. I texted him the latest, 5 hours later I get some sort of 'ok, thanks for letting me know' reply.

This isn't okay, for my mental health (as if any of this crisis has been okay). I guess what I am saying right now (which is weird) is that healthy, I was able to stand and tolerate his MLC depression, and i guess I cannot right now. It's too hurtful and insane. What should I do? I havent' done anything, just a few updating texts, but now I am feeling like, why does he deserve even this? My health situation is trumping his depression (I think). Or I just smile and get a text from him once in a blue moon and find other support. Or call him out on everything. Or plan my funeral (morbid joke). I know MLCers can't care about our health when they are in the thick of things. H wants to be kept in the loop-- or whatever minimal MLC loop on their terms loop-- do I go along with that? or disappear? What is best for me? That's really what I am grappling with. I'm in a bit of an anger phase- I don't care about his depression right now- I'd like to make it to 50, thank you very much.

[Sotto]

Hi Altair, I think it is positive that your H asked to be kept in the loop....however...

Try to accept that your own challenges are yours to deal with and process just now. Lean on the support of others and oblige your H with minimal updates as needed. I wouldn't rely on him for much in the way of practical support, but occasionally keep him up to date if he has asked for this.

If he actually offers support - ie: to take you somewhere - you can have a think about whether that works for you.

Now then, do put him on to the back burner for a few days and try to relax and enjoy your trip. I know you must feel concerned about your health, and hope you will confide in others and seek support from them if you need it.

Xx

[Coly23]

Hey Altair, just letting you know that I am thinking of you. I'm sorry that you H is still not as supportive as you would expect. It's hard to think that they are not there for us anymore.

I agree with Sotto, keep him updated as he asked but lean on your friends for support.

Sending you a big ((( ))).

[job]

I also agree w/Sotto. You can keep him updated, but I would certainly lean on friends, co-workers and neighbors for support. If he offers to take you somewhere for testing, etc., then you will need to decide what you want to do in the way of accepting the offers.

I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Altair]

Hi all,
It makes sense to keep him updated but turn down the offers for rides.

[job]

I wouldn't turn down rides unless you have a back up plan w/someone. You never know when your back up plan might have an emergency and it's good to keep things civil and open just in case you do need his assistance in the ride department. I would look upon him as a distant friend and only call him if you absolutely have to for assistance (last resort).

Please take care of yourself.