SBJ, I am glad that you recognize it't time to work on you! It is the hardest thing to do, but ultimately will serve you the most in the long run.

In terms of if she is having a MLC, or not, well I don't think that should change what you do. Honestly, I think sometimes the LBS finds comfort in categorizing the S as having a MLC, because it hangs on to some hope that it is not a permanent change--they may come back around or they may snap out of it--when really, we don't know what/why. We may never.

So, with the little that I know about you, I do think you are allowing her to cake eat and so she doesn't feel the loss of you. If she has moved out and is filing for D, then why are you spending the holidays with her and having family time?

I am not being condescending, but I am truly wondering. If she finalized the D and has an OM, then would you still want this family time? Or are you only having family time in hopes that she will come back around? I think you should really think about this!

OK. I am going to copy/paste this in your thread so we can continue convo there.

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela