Waywards do come back. First step: LET GO

[BluWave]

I agree with you Andrew. You cannot mindread, know what they are thinking, know what they are wanting, or hang on to shreds of hope. That doesn't work and it is wasted energy. It also keeps the focus on them and their actions, when the goal of DB is to take the focus off of them and take care of the self.

This sounds harsh, but people are not attracted to those that are needy, desperate, or hanging on to them. We are generally attracted to those that are confident, have their own hobbies/goals, and those that are strong. So in the LBS fog, we don't realize that are desperation/neediness further pushes our spouse away.

SBJ, there may be times that your W misses you, wants to spend time with you, or even opens up about her feelings for you. She may offer you hope and say things that are in conflict. Perhaps this is confusing you, especially if she is feeling lonely or guilty around the holidays. Or perhaps she is being clear and you just don't want to see the truth. Even if she does have moments of doubt, that should not change your course of action.

The thing is, you don't know. You have to go by all that you do know and that is that she is telling you she wants out and she is moving out. If things change, then you can reevaluate. If you keep looking for shreds of hope or hanging onto her actions, you are not able to move forward and get stronger. Unfortunately, his can take a very long time, and sometimes years.

Blu