Cheated and need advice

[AndrewP]

Mme P - The situation seems to be quite adversarial. Him demanding guilt and recompense from you but him never quite getting to forgiveness.

I don't know if this matches your previous relationship but is there any way you can think of to turn it from a him vs her into a partnership? Where you ask him, not a "how do I make this right" but "how can we work together to rebuild our love and trust"?

I, like many of us here are coming at this from a very different perspective. Most of us I believe want to forgive and trust our spouses again and know that we ourselves have to put in the hard work that will be required for those of us that actually get a chance.

I recall the story of one woman here - HaWho who to use her own words "pretzeled" herself to try to accommodate the demands of her husband. It didn't work. If I recall the story correctly, nothing that she did was ever good enough. So what I'm trying to suggest is if you two could work together on rebuilding the relationship you can build a better one than you had before and certainly a better one than where your H is acting as the foreman and shouting orders.

Just a thought - very proud of you.