Well, here's some advice from an experienced post-divorce dater:
- first, as you've already acknowledged, you're in the infatuation stage. Don't mistake it for anything else yet. Take time to get to know her, and don't jump into sex before you know who she really is.
- You do have some things going for you - that you already knew her for some time prior (so her character etc are not complete unknowns) and you've put in your time on your marriage (although your divorce went quickly, you had a couple years prior of dealing with her infidelities etc.)
- You also have a couple things going against you - a predisposition towards addiction (nothing more addictive than those infatuation endorphins) and a lack of dating experience (you have relatively little to compare this relationship to.)
As fun as that "immediate falling in love" feeling can be, know that it is just that - a feeling - and that it is entirely possible to have that feeling for someone who can turn out to be a terrible match. So while I want you to enjoy that feeling, just don't move too fast. Once you are sleeping together it can be impossible to distinguish lust from love. And once you are really in a relationship, do NOT be in a hurry to remarry. It usually takes 2-3 years to really get to know someone and know that the difference between the idealized image in your mind and the real person in front of you. Likewise for her. If she is willing to jump in before she truly knows who you are, you have to worry that she is just falling in love with her IMAGE of who she thinks you are.
All of that being said - it sounds like she's a good catch and someone that you already know something about. Enjoy the mutual admiration. But don't fall into addictive thinking about it. (Do you go to SLAA meetings? If not, they might be helpful for you. I have a friend who goes - not a sex addict but a little bit of a love addict - and it help keep her grounded she says - otherwise she can go right into a whole fantasy life around a new date before she even knows who he really is).
You haven't had enough dating experience to have learned that - sometimes that person who looks great in the beginning will turn out to have a fatal flaw that you don't discover until months or a year or two in. Keep your eyes open for red flags and have serious discussions with her about goals, values, etc. to make sure you are both headed in the same direction. Also, make sure you understand why her last marriage broke up.
And lastly - make sure you are not being attracted to the same type of person/problems that has gotten you in trouble in the past. It doesn't sound like it, but many of us will find ourselves repeating old dysfunctional patterns in picking our mates unless we've really worked through our stuff.
