I'm here so I don't get fined.

[trumpet]

Journaling a bit, but need your help, folks.

So Christmas was different, but no tears. Had the kids Xmas eve day, and the early morning of xmas. went well, but very tired.
Kids were happy. Made them breakfast. Went to xmas morning service - for someone who's a weekly church goer, it was the first xmas morning service I've been to. It was great!

The advice I need is in regards to the lovely woman I met. She goes to church with me, has raised her two daughters on her own for the last 8 years, has a great job, and we have a great time together. At the end of the second date, sparks flew, and I think both of us knew we were having some big time feelings. I had trouble with my emotions after saying goodnight (kissing, yes, lots), and she said she had a hard time after as well. We've been texting a lot more, and another date is set for Friday.

My problem - I think limerence has started, my brain thinks of her often, and this is a woman I can't have as my rebound - she is way too nice, and has been through a lot in the last 8 years. Our love languages match much better than my ex-wife, we have fun together, she's a terrific mom to her girls, we have the same faith...

This dating thing was a lot easier when I could think logically, keeping my wits about me. We have both have stressed to each other to take things slow.

I now see how truly difficult that can be for someone coming out of a 16 year relationship. The heart wants to jump ahead of the mind, and I'm constantly having to pull on the reins.

Any tips for me, those who have gotten through the D, waited a bit, and then found someone? I made myself wait 6 months, did lots of counseling, grieved the loss, and really started to feel like I was moving on. The feelings I have for her can be overwhealming, and if I'm honest, it scares me. Too much emotion, too much wanting this to work. And as long as I've known her, I thought she was beautiful, a nice woman at church, great kids, wanted to get to know her better, but she was pretty shy, and well, I was MARRIED. The line was never crossed - with anyone - so she was off-limits.

Now, she's not. And she's such a sweetheart, with a soul that is an optimist at heart (vs. my EX-WW, who was a huge pessimist), fun to be with, and really just checks almost all the boxes I had for a future spouse.

The snowball is rolling so fast in my heart, I want it to stop. I want an authentic relationship with her, with having lots of tough questions answered between us. She isn't some flamboyant person - her and I are very complimentary, she's a huge planner, I'm a pretty conservative guy... so this isn't some significant other with an expiration date.

Is just knowing that we need to take it slow enough? Do I put the brakes on the relationship? I dated two women in my life - one for 4 years, and my ex-wife for 18 or so. I'm not a dater, I look for someone I could make long-term commitments to. She is one that I could, in my mind.

My brain is mush. Too many endorphines. This love thing, it can really mess you up.