Help - boundaries. Am I doing th ewrong thing?

[Woke_Up]

Well, at the moment, there is little spewing. I have been back in the MBR the last 2 nights without any problem. Let's see how this continues.

I'm still having trouble controlling my snooping. It is my weakness. She managed to go until 15:30 on Christmas day without communicating with OM. Then she did a bot on & off after that.

Interesting thing (from a detached standpoint) was applying the drama triangle to her interactions with OM. WW was a bit standoffish to start with, and he immediately moved into talking about his anxiety, until he had to say he would swallow his anxiety and need a drink (he drinks a lot) until he got the reaction he wanted from her. Classic rescuer to victim to victim/martyr, until she moved into rescuer. Almost tempted to let her know about the drama triangle and see if she can figure it out, but at this stage, I think I need to work on my self knowledge, awareness and understanding before I worry about WW.

Now as for today, they have been communicating from within the house. Rather than create a ruckus, when I brought her new phone downstairs at her request, there was a message from OM via Google hangouts on the lock screen.

So I took the opportunity to say to W that she had a message from OM and that did she remember me talking about the disrespect for me and the children by communicating from within the house, and did she understand what I meant by saying that it was disrespectful. She said she did and couldn't help if he messaged her.

I left it for now. I just wanted to reinforce the message about lack of respect rather than get into a battle about consequences at this stage.

It has been a reasonably calm day, been out to the park with WW & D, done a bit of GAL online training, and looking at some other GAL stuff for the new year. I used to do Krav Maga when I worked away from home and am looking to start doing it again in the New Year, once my op has fully healed.

Kept forcing myself to detach, think of her as 'mentally ill' when I was getting angry earlier (my own fault for looking at her phone), and even used Surfer's 'Windsor Davies' on myself - getting angry? 'oh dear, how sad, never mind' - and it helped.

Going to carry on with my GAL course for now, read a bit more about escaping the drama triangle, and see how tonight goes.