Not sure where I am so no title!

[Coly23]

Thanks for your posts everyone.

Sotto, thank you for making the 2x4 fluffy! Yep, I know I am being very needy, but the thing is, H is starting to losen up and relax around me so it seems the more we see each other the better it gets but I take on board what you say about him coming to me. I know it's been said to me quite a few times but I can't stop organising things! It stops me from spinning and at the moment I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible and it's working.

Job, H got my heckles up because I usually avoid having R talks with him especially face to face so I didn't feel he was justified in his request to not have R talks when he came over because I wouldn't do that. I know it's not as long as some but I did go NC for seven weeks and I don't really think I can do that again. Just writing it is making me feel sick and bringing all those emotions back.

Blu, I'm trying really hard to be independent and on the whole I'm not doing a bad job. For example H noticed that a towel rail in the bathroom had come off the wall and brought tools to fix it back on when he came over on Christmas Eve. I didn't ask him to do this but he was suprised to see that I had already attempted, although unsuccessfully, to fix it myself! He tried and couldn't do it either!

Thanks Pinn! Trying to not have expectations but not doing very well!

IDK. I don't force him to do any of these things. He is actually agreeing willingly. When he has stuff on he says no and I don't push him but if he is available he always says yes. We had also agreed to do lots of family stuff around Christmas so maybe I need to wait until after The holiday season to pull back a bit.

Thank you all. I know you are looking out for me and I appreciate it. This is just so hard....