Sara, I have been away from the boards and I am sorry to read of the recent developments.

Your wh seems to have sunk deeper into the wayward fog. One thing strikes me odd though. It does take a lot of self-awareness to know that he is incapable of making changes.

I am so sorry for the pain you're going through. I agree with what has been said. Don't make hasty decisions legally. I always feel that you must and should go for what is yours legally, and then some. He is your children's father. He should be financially responsible for them. Therapy costs will add up to a lot and it will be good if he shoulders the costs.

You must remember that you have 3 kids and kids are expensive. Especially college. Is yours a no - fault state? If it's not, you may want to check if he has had any contact with ow or another ow.

Will you be at a disadvantage if you don't file for d? Weigh the pros and cons.

If you won't be disadvantaged, let your h do the work.

Sara, you're still having expectations of your h and that is why you are still spinning. I know it's hard not to but for your sanity's sake, you have to.

Step up on your self-care and surround yourself with people who care for you. You need legal, mental, emotional and physical support. Do you have close friends you can lean on?

Sara, you must take care of yourself first. Don't think about the M. Maybe you'll have a breakthrough when you let it go.

(((Sara)))

You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.